i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
you never un-have a 4some
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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