It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
