my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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