Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize