you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
