I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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