Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
