so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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