He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
do herpes really smell.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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