This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
