i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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