I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Im part way to drunk.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
