i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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