don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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