I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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