Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
