And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
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He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
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Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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