hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize