I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
