During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I checked into jail on foursquare
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just found a bag of teeth...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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