Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
