do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
kristin has been a bad kristin
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
