Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Everything about him screamed your future.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
