I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
