He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
