last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
