Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
