yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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