kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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