o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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