She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
