im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize