i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
