You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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