so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
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Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
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Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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