I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
we're so committed to being not committed
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
