So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
