i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
