if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
