They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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