White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
