so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
