You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
