I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
