I need help removing her.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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