My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
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I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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