When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
