AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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