I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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