Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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