He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
