you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
