You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
