Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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