He is an equal opportunity slut.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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