Apparently you make a good broom.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
